In mindfulness circles the language of the law slips in when the topics of resilience, decision-making, and well-being are discussed. When our mindfulness is strong, we see things more clearly. As a result, we are less likely to make assumptions, become lost in thought, catastrophize, ruminate, or caught in the tangle of bias. We are less likely to confuse what is actually taking place from what we can tell ourselves is taking place.

The legalese that emerges is the phrase “pain and suffering,” though in this context is understood to be the discomfort that inevitably accompanies life, e.g., the physical discomfort of injury or the emotional toll of grief and loss. Suffering, in sharp contrast, is what we experience when we resist what happens, i.e., life, as it is. The ultimate insight — and a helpful reminder — is that, by and large, while pain is unavoidable, suffering is optional. I write by and large because we can try to structure our lives to minimize pain — but avoid it entirely we cannot. And while it might be a relief to know that suffering is optional, knowing this generally is not enough to entirely avoid it.

For the mathematicians among us, a simple equation represents this relationship: