The imagery most frequently associated with Valentine’s Day is the heart.  We live at a time when an aching heart is palpable on a daily basis.  The pandemic, entering its second year, has taken a toll on relationships, on careers, and on our individual and collective wellbeing.  The political landscape has exacerbated relationships among family members, friends, colleagues, and neighbors — be they next door or across the country.  It is a time when the heart opening practices associated with mindfulness, including lovingkindness, self-compassion, and gratitude can be especially helpful. In this month’s column we will review the essence of these practices and tips to draw upon them during the day.

LovingKindness

This exercise, which many lawyers find to be a powerful antidote to feelings of hostility, fear, and resentment — without compromising zealous advocacy or the willingness to have difficult conversations and address serious problems — involves offering well wishes to others.  Common expressions of kindness are as relevant now as ever: happiness, safety, health, and ease.  The full-length practice involves bringing to mind first yourself, then someone who loves and cares about you, then someone relatively neutral, then a difficult person, and then all beings, and in turn wishing: